Dating A Bisexual Person
For many bisexual people, being who and what they are is about loving a person, not a gender. The worst thing you could ever do to a bi partner is to accuse them of “not really being bi”, but just enjoying, as Carrie Bradshaw wrote, “a layover on the way to Gay Town”. A bisexual person isn’t experiencing any confusion about their orientation. They may be attracted to both men and women, but that doesn’t necessarily mean at the same time. ‘Bisexual’ is not another word for ‘promiscuous’. Bisexuals can be just as monogamous as anybody else.
So if you find yourself dating somebody who likes ‘a little from column A, a little from column B’, there’s no need to feel insecure – no more than you would in any regular relationship. The same rules apply: Establish your values and needs, encourage open communication and don’t suggest bringing another person into the bedroom unless you both feel comfortable and secure. Finally, rest assured that if they’re in a relationship with you, you must assume that they prefer you.
June 6th, 2007 at 8:59 pm
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June 7th, 2007 at 2:23 am
Great article Kirri. I must admit, when I was in the dating game I’d always wondered exactly how I’d navigate this one. I’d always wondered whether a bisexual person would feel like they were ‘missing out’ sticking with one gender. Good to know it’s not the case!
June 7th, 2007 at 4:57 pm
WOW, I can’t even fathom the whole “bringing another person into the bedroom” idea. I don’t know how any relationship of any kind could survive something like that.
June 8th, 2007 at 10:41 pm
David - I personally couldn’t fathom doing it either. Perhaps i’m too monogamous for my own good. *laughs*
June 11th, 2007 at 10:06 pm
I think dating a bi sexual person would be like any other relationship. Once you are lovingly devoted to your partner, you forget about what else is out there on the market and enjoy the person you are sharing this moment of your life with.
June 14th, 2007 at 5:12 pm
Hi - I enjoyed your article, and great information. No matter what your orientation is, or your preference, I believe we all need to be educated because there is less chance for passing judgement on others if you have a better understanding. Whether you believe in it or not — it’s not our place to judge, so try and understand and be understanding.